custom field display on order page

hi nicolas,
i am having some trouble with the custom field display... here's what i need:
i have different menus to order from (these are store categories)... i created a custom field for each product to identify which menu it is on. I have different custom date choosing fields (select lists) for each menu...

so menu1 has date select list1
menu2 has date select list2

if you order off menu1 only, then you shouldnt see options for menu2

if you order off both then you see both date selects etc..

then there are a few custom fields that always display (like comments)

i have been trying to write it so that if an item in the cart has a specific code.. then only that select list shows. but then i have a problem with the other fields that show on everything. is there a way to call each field by hand instead of having them all spit out?

thanks Liz